帮改改语法I had spent only three summers in Canada and all of these precious summer time was contributed to extra school work and paid employments.As a new ESL student in 2007,I was offered a free course by the ESL Department in the Calgary Boar

帮改改语法I had spent only three summers in Canada and all of these precious summer time was contributed to extra school work and paid employments.As a new ESL student in 2007,I was offered a free course by the ESL Department in the Calgary Boar
帮改改语法
I had spent only three summers in Canada and all of these precious summer time was contributed to extra school work and paid employments.As a new ESL student in 2007,I was offered a free course by the ESL Department in the Calgary Board of Education to improve English ability.That summer was the first time I walked out of the misery of loneliness as a new member in the complete strange society.In 2008,I had to take my ELA 10-1 course during the summer since my ESL class took my regular school time for English.Last summer,I took English course in summer school again just to improve my English skill and prepare for my English language proficiency test.Although I failed to achieve a satisfactory mark on that course,the knowledge I learned through the course was precious for me.Beyond summer school,I also took part-time summer employments during the last two summers.Both times I was employed in fast food industry as a cashier.I had to admit that the employments played a significant role on the improvement of my oral language skill.Besides,my family went to short distance traveling for a few times during the summer.Anyway,I believe I had fulfilled summers during my first three years in Canada.I believe this summer I will go traveling since all my tasks during high school will be completed by this summer.
这是申请国外大学用的,必须杜绝语法问题.如果能帮我改的更有文采就更好了,
悬赏分视改的好坏追加.
问题是描写你近几个假期做了什么

帮改改语法I had spent only three summers in Canada and all of these precious summer time was contributed to extra school work and paid employments.As a new ESL student in 2007,I was offered a free course by the ESL Department in the Calgary Boar
I had（have had要明确在过去某个时候前） spent only three summers in Canada and all of these（the these和不可数的time不能搭配） precious summer time was contributed to extra school work and paid employments.As a new ESL student in 2007,I was offered a free course by the ESL Department in the Calgary Board of Education to improve English ability.That summer was the first time I walked out of the misery of loneliness as a new member in the complete strange society.In 2008,I had to take my ELA 10-1 course during the summer since my ESL class took my regular school time for English.Last summer,I took （加an 或者the )English course in summer school again just to improve my English skill and prepare for my English language proficiency test.Although I failed to achieve a satisfactory mark on that course,the knowledge I learned through the course was precious for(改成to) me.Beyond summer school,I also took part-time summer employments during the last two summers.Both times I was employed in fast food industry as a cashier.I had to admit that the employments played a significant role on(该为in) the improvement of my oral language skill.Besides,my family went to short distance traveling for a few times during the summer.Anyway,I believe I had fulfilled (myself in the)summers during my first three years in Canada.( I will go traveling since I believe this summer all my tasks during high school will be completed by (the end of) this summer.)

呃。。第一句的后半句就看不懂你要说什么了。。。语法错误就先不说了，你想表达的意思是。。？你在你暑假期间，不但继续学习而且还兼职打工？貌似这个was contributed to blablabla有点问题。。。
中间的部分还不错，有些话可以稍微写的简练点。。。但是最后几句我就又confused了。。。说着说着学习，为什么突然蹦出来your family travel的事情。。？然后...I...

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呃。。第一句的后半句就看不懂你要说什么了。。。语法错误就先不说了，你想表达的意思是。。？你在你暑假期间，不但继续学习而且还兼职打工？貌似这个was contributed to blablabla有点问题。。。
中间的部分还不错，有些话可以稍微写的简练点。。。但是最后几句我就又confused了。。。说着说着学习，为什么突然蹦出来your family travel的事情。。？然后...I had fulfilled ummers during my first 3 years in Canada是想表达什么。。。？
另外啊。。其实申请大学不必太过担心语法。。。因为你本来就是foreigner，如果你的grammar是perfect，那反而会让大学觉得奇怪。。。这个是我申请大学时候我外教跟我说的。只要不犯过于白痴的错误，有些许语法错误并不是什么坏事。。。

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