改个英语自我介绍去有个出国小面试 200左右 写好了 帮我改下语法错误 再来点高端词汇Hello ladies and gentlemen.I am honored to be here.And now I will introduce myself brieflyI graduated from WZ Zhouyuan Primary School,a

改个英语自我介绍去有个出国小面试 200左右 写好了 帮我改下语法错误 再来点高端词汇Hello ladies and gentlemen.I am honored to be here.And now I will introduce myself brieflyI graduated from WZ Zhouyuan Primary School,a
改个英语自我介绍
去有个出国小面试 200左右 写好了 帮我改下语法错误 再来点高端词汇
Hello ladies and gentlemen.I am honored to be here.
And now I will introduce myself briefly
I graduated from WZ Zhouyuan Primary School,
and WZ Foreign Langage Junior School
Now I am studying in WZ 22 senior high school.
I got good grades in my study
I was the representative of science in my junior school
And the monitor in the primary school
My grades is above the average of my class now
And I am proud to say my English grades is quite good
I have a good friendship with my friends
When my friends turn to my for help
I will try my best to help them out
Besides study ,I have many interests
And my favorite is photograph.
Affected by my father,I started to touch cameras early
Now I am member of Ouhai photographic association
And I have won XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I also like music a lot
My team once won the first place in a ZJ province chorus competition
Sports is my another interest.
Riding bike,running,playing football and etc.
But as you already know.The Chinese Football Team was defeated utterly by a Thai teen-age team somedays ago.That’s just so unbearable.Oh let’s don’t mention it.
It’s so short a speech that I can’t show all my aspects to you.
But if I was admitted to your school
I believe I won’t let you down!
That’s all thank for providing the opportunity!

改个英语自我介绍去有个出国小面试 200左右 写好了 帮我改下语法错误 再来点高端词汇Hello ladies and gentlemen.I am honored to be here.And now I will introduce myself brieflyI graduated from WZ Zhouyuan Primary School,a
首先Hello,就不行.你如果是个比较重要的面试,要说的正式一点,说good morning/afternoon, 看你面试时间了.
“I am honored to be here.”－这个面试机会是很激烈的吗?一般我觉得,国外是要得奖或者毕业什么的会说very honored to .
"When my friends turn to my for help"--turn to me for my help
"Besides study ,I have many interests"--这句话说的,学习也是你的一个兴趣爱好吗?I have many other interests. 有besides,你要后面用other.
“That’s all thank for providing the opportunity!”－ that's all and thank you for your attention.就可以了,你那样说,很中式.
感觉你的词汇量,表达的都蛮不错了.问题是你很中式思维,就是说很多话,你都是先想好中文,再翻成英语的.如果你的面试官都是中国人,那问题不大,但是有外国人的话,就会觉得chinglish了.建议,最好能用英语的思维来思考,然后再说.